Confused about Pluto?

There has been much buzz about the recent news that Pluto is no longer classified as a planet. I wanted to clarify a few confusing facts. One thing that should be crystal clear is that prior to the IAU decision last week there were 9 planets in our solar system. Now that Pluto has been demoted, there are 12, since 9-1=12.

The IAU established on Thursday a "clear" definition for what constitutes a planetFurthermore, there has been a few announcements of some new celestial bodies that have been added to our list of planets. They are Charon, Ceres, and 2003 UB313. Charon and Pluto are now being labeled as double planets since they share a common center of gravity somewhere in the space between them. Thus, neither is a moon of the other -- they technically orbit around each other. I still haven't figured out how to pronounce Ceres, and 2003 UB313, which is larger than Pluto, is temporarily being called Xena -- for some Amazon-like television heroine. These three new planets clearly bring the total number to 8 since 9+3=8.

In all seriousness (or is it now Ceres-ousness?), the IAU (International Astronomical Union) established on Thursday a "clear" definition for what constitutes a planet. They now define a planet as a (1) non-stellar (2) spherical object (3) in orbit around a star. They clarify that the object must be massive enough to have pulled itself into a spherical shape under its own gravity.

By this definition, Pluto, Charon, Ceres, and Xena all make the cut. Apparently this was far too simple for the rocket scientists in the IAU, so they further distinguish between the "classical planets" and "dwarf planets", or those smaller than Mercury. Now, all four aforementioned planets become dwarfs. A second provision isolates any bodies that take more than 200 Earth years to orbit the star as "plutons", and the four now are demoted out of planetary status.

One further confusing issue, though, is that the IAU claims it now differentiates between 3 classes of planets, namely classical, dwarf, and plutons. So, by this admission, aren't the 4 still technically planets?! I hope that I've helped clarify this exciting announcement.